Just writing this question shows that you’re well on the path to being a great ally.
Invalidating someones experience
THE Q: One of my best friends has clearly begun the process of transitioning.
They haven’t come out as trans*, but they’re now dressing in a conventionally feminine style and have started changing the name they use when they sign off in emails. I’m scared of offending them or saying the wrong thing, but I have so many questions!
I doubt you commence every Sunday brunch by asking your friends about the status of their genitals, so refrain from doing the same to a trans* person. (For a quick master class on this, watch Laverne Cox talking to Wendy Williams.) 4. ” In fact, it’s better if you Although you probably all think of me as some magnanimous, infallible Internet angel who dispenses wisdom with charm and grace, like a white Beyoncé (that’s what you guys think of me, right?
), that’s not the case — I’m a cisgendered woman who sometimes gets her genderfluid friend’s pronouns wrong (they/them/their, for the record) or immediately genders people on sight. January agrees: “A good ally doesn't wait for someone to tell them how to be a good ally; they do their homework and they allow this experience to teach them.” Writing in to this column was certainly a step in the right direction.
‘not…enough’ to matter.” #Me Too to that time when I was driving alone at night and a truck behind me kept flashing it’s brights at me for over a mile.
I thought there was something desperately wrong with my car to get this type of reaction.
And, while Sophie, January, and Micah were all gracious enough to answer some questions, you shouldn’t expect your friend or any other trans* person to serve as your very own guidebook.
It isn’t their job to educate you on trans* issues or trans* life.
Micah, a non-binary-identified writer, advocate, and educator, refrained from making a big announcement about their transition and preferred more personal interactions.
“I didn't really tell anyone when I changed my name and pronouns,” Micah says.
THE A: English, the mighty language of Shakespeare, the Brontës, and Aubrey Graham, is incredibly flawed.