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When it’s gone, it’s like, ‘Oh good, I can go back to my life now.’ I would stay up all weekend and go to these sex parties and then feel like shit until Wednesday.About two years ago I switched to cocaine because I could work the next day.” Jeremy is telling me this from a hospital bed, six stories above Seattle.Until a few weeks ago, I had no idea he used anything heavier than martinis.

’ So I would dial out to get some meth delivered and check the Internet to see if there were any parties happening.

It was either that or watch a movie by myself.” is not my only gay friend who’s struggling.

He won’t tell me the exact circumstances of the overdose, only that a stranger called an ambulance and he woke up here.

Jeremy is not the friend I was expecting to have this conversation with.

In a survey of care-providers at HIV clinics, one respondent told researchers: “It’s not a question of them not knowing how to save their lives.

It’s a question of them knowing if their lives are worth saving.” I’m not going to pretend to be objective about any of this.In the Netherlands, where gay marriage has been legal since 2001, gay men remain three times more likely to suffer from a mood disorder than straight men, and 10 times more likely to engage in “suicidal self-harm.” In Sweden, which has had civil unions since 1995 and full marriage since 2009, men married to men have triple the suicide rate of men married to women.All of these unbearable statistics lead to the same conclusion: It is still dangerously alienating to go through life as a man attracted to other men.As recently as my own adolescence, gay marriage was a distant aspiration, something newspapers still put in scare quotes.Now, it’s been enshrined in law by the Supreme Court.Still, even as we celebrate the scale and speed of this change, the rates of depression, loneliness and substance abuse in the gay community remain stuck in the same place they’ve been for decades.


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