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Although, judging by her tell-all collection of sex stories, few others have. My friends, when they heard it, said, 'Girl, you've got to write a book.

In "My Horizontal Life," Handler is a female Don Juan, careening from one alcohol-fueled mishap to another. The middle-aged S&M guy was true from start to finish. Put this on paper.' " She says that some characters were amalgams of various friends -- and the same with a couple of the men.

"My book tour was supposed to be just four cities, then it went to eight and now 12. She's been chasing it since she was just 21 and fresh in L.

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Her new book is: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands. Her new book is: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands. Darryl Bush / The Chronicle MANDATORY CREDIT FOR PHOTOG AND SF CHRONICLE/ -MAGS OUT lesshandler01_028_Chelsea Handler in the "green room," at the Punch Line comedy club. more "I'm surprised you didn't ask first about the midget," says Chelsea Handler, backstage at the Punch Line Comedy Club, nonchalantly squirting the remaining contents of a plastic bottle of lemon juice into a glass of vodka and ice.

Her new book is: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands. The comedian/author licks a lemony thumb and grins.

"Even my Mormon sister checks my rankings on Amazon.com," she notes.

Still, she says, there is a downside to airing one's dirty undies in print. I'm a handful." Is she serious about wanting to marry?

" As shocked titters and whoas of discomfort erupt from the audience, Handler grins wickedly, intoxicated by her own fearlessness.

Jerry gave me the hook up with those backstage passes. Sandra and I hooked up last night and her adams apple was kinda big 3.

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"Everyone asks first about the midget." This refers to an incident in Cabo San Lucas involving a little person, excessive tequila consumption, a blackout and subsequent awakening to the pitter-patter of little feet.


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