Have you ever had an ex who always seemed to get in touch at the very moment you started to feel better?You just started feeling happier, more confident and maybe even starting to fancy someone new?
), and many times I’ve seen people reconcile when the original reason still remains.
Nothing has actually changed, the issues are there, the healing and self work hasn’t been done…They got weak, they missed each other, they missed the SEX, so they blow past the all too familiar “warning signs”, led by chemistry and emotion, and jump back in – only to realise a bit further on down the road – nothing’s changed.
Sometimes it’s better to remain in “No Contact” (NC), heal properly and bring in an even better fit for you the next time. Don’t rush to judgment about what it does or doesn’t mean.
The guy she went on these dates with was younger than her, a Masters student, not earning much and living with his mother.
Those aspects of his lifestyle didn’t matter to her.
However, let’s look at this from the guy’s perspective.
For some very strange reason, it seems to happen quite a lot.
Both here on and I’ve actually experienced it in my own life too. How were you treated when your ex said it was over, or at the time you ended it? (PS: It’s called a “Second Chance” not a chance.)Sometimes they’re coming back because they can’t bear the thought of you moving on with your life without them. They realise they care about you, or love and want to be with you.
Please remember some other person does not complete you. It’s OK to tell them you’re still healing and that if and when you want to be in touch again, you’ll reach out. Sometimes they’re jealous of the new life you’re carving out for yourself – with them. Ask the tough questions – even the ones you probably won’t like the answers of. Tell me about your experience of an EX reaching out to you – and what sort of result it had.
Sometimes when an ex reaches out it’s a good time, or sign that a conversation about reconciliation is on the cards. It’s a challenge to decipher what the contact actually means. Sometimes contact means something, sometimes it really doesn’t. Or share your story in How, When and Where You Were Dumped.
The unfortunate thing that I’ve seen around here is they’ve come back with a convincing tale, tell you what you want to hear – only to turn around and dump you again.