If your dream is to travel the world and wait to settle down until your late 30s, but who you’re dating wants to live in a suburb and start raising children by the time they’re 28, then how is that relationship going to work?
When you have a set of goals too far off from your partner’s, and neither of you choose to work on a compromise, then you’re just wasting each other’s time.
I’m not saying he has to be your best friend; I’m saying, there’s gotta be a basis of some kind of friendship somewhere. There is nothing worse than being with someone who is negative all the time about everything. This could be as simple as he’s stingy with money; that when you ask him to borrow $5, he will bring up that $5 every time you speak, text, or see him after, until it’s paid, or until one of you dies. Maybe you rock out to Billy Joel but are too scared he’d make fun of you. If you’re afraid to let him see your flaws, he’s not the guy for you.
From traffic to your future together, if every damn thing makes him groan and roll his eyes and go off on a tangent about how everything sucks and there’s no point, you are better off alone. Or maybe he keeps score emotionally, tallying up every little squabble you’ve had and who was right and who was wrong. This is a person who is so petty that being with them turns into a chore. Sure, in an early relationship, there’s some hesitation, but there should never be actual “Sexually compatible” covers all chemistry in the relationship, from how you are in bed to how you kiss.
If you guys aren’t working together on these issues, it says a LOT. I once told an ex about my idea for a book and he laughed in my face.
Sometimes, two people really hit it off, but that sizzle just isn’t there. That’s when I realized, maybe we’re not meant to be.
You feel like your partner only has one interest in life and yeah, you guessed it, it’s you. Spending time with this person seems more like a chore than it is just for fun, and you’re constantly feeling drained at the end of every meet. You can’t bear to make plans, because at the back of your mind, you’re wondering whether or not you’d still be together by then.
You don’t see yourself going on vacation with this person, or bringing them to your company christmas party, let alone to your cousin’s wedding.It could be that you’re embarrassed, which is already enough of a reason for you to pull the plug on the relationship.It’s not right when every serious conversation you start gets shrugged off with ‘let’s not talk about this’ or ‘can we talk about something else.’ If there are things you can’t talk to this person about, then that’s a red flag. Admittedly, getting attention from who you’re with is great, except when there’s too much of it. You’re always thinking of other activities you could be doing and at some point, hanging out with them gets exhausting.When the person who knows you best can’t grasp the idea of why you’re even dating this person then maybe something isn’t right.Sometimes we can be blinded to someone’s flaws, so it’s always good to have another set of brains to help you think through your relationship.You’re not thrilled about having to learn all the things they are interested in, and they don’t even try to do the same with your interests. …and if they have then they are probably not comfortable with them.