Maltempo says women occasionally made assumptions about him based on his race.
“When [I was] dating non-Asians, sometimes they were interested in exotic factors that I’m not a white guy,” he said.
“Maybe they’d talk about how they’re really into anime, manga or ‘Have you seen that scary Japanese or Korean movie?
A little over a year later, Maltempo married a woman he met on the site.
But dating — online or off — was hardly a smooth experience.
“I feel like I’ve grown into being more socially outgoing and talkative, but I wasn’t always that way,” he said.
“I think there was a long time where I felt ashamed, ashamed or self-conscious, or attributing me being single to the fact that I don’t have these qualities and I need to have these qualities in order to attract people.
He needed online dating only to “work once,” he says, and it did.
In the process, Montecillo, 25, also learned to not judge himself based on others people’s standards.
Compared with other men she met on Match.com, Maltempo was far less flirtatious and more direct.
But after a friend urged Jiang, a 27-year-old native of China, to give Maltempo a chance, she realized that unlike some other people she was talking to, there was substance behind Maltempo’s messages.
Tao Liu, a doctorate student in counseling psychology at Indiana University, has measured how Asian American men experience gendered racism.