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They invited me for an interview and asked me to come by the day before for “testing.”Today, I showed up for the “testing“ and discovered that I was expected to take the following tests: typing, proofreading, spelling, and writing a cold open email.

These tests were expected to take upwards of three hours. Am I crazy to think that this company is out of touch at best and clueless at worst?

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It feels like they just wasted my time, and it’s sending up crazy red flags for me. Am I overreacting in seeing this as a sign of larger issues with the company, or at least with HR? Best case scenario, the early stages of their hiring process is run by incompetent HR people but now you’re through their gauntlet and will be dealing with more sensible people.

Worst case scenario, they’re about to waste more of your time because this job is not at all what they’ve told you it is and/or they just suck. If you’re okay with the possibility of having your time wasted, you could go to the interview and learn more …

The woman whose desk is closest to mine, let’s call her Jane, is several rungs lower on the ladder than Fergus.

Fergus and Jane are both married and have kids but are engaging in an affair.

I don’t want to treat her with kid gloves for the next five years as if she’s too frail to be a valued team member, but also don’t want to cheerfully say “We missed you so much! Part of me feels that we should simply ignore it — not ask her about how she’s doing now, but just update her on changes to our team/workflow as we would if someone was on maternity leave but just be more vague in phrasing — something like “while you were out, we’ve updated teapot printing to use this new program.” And then push back if she’s out of line or difficult, just like we would with anyone else. Just keep it brisk and breezy and don’t leave a long pause where she feels like she has to say something about her absence. I wanted to ask you about this teapot sale.” And yeah, I think “while you were out, we’ve updated X, Y, and Z” is just fine. It’s now November and although I have had video conferences with the team four or five times and many meetings on the phone with my manager, I haven’t actually met any of them.

Complicating this is that my team’s in another location, so we’ll interact via instant message, emails and phone calls, but the visual cues won’t be there. Be matter-of-fact about it, and don’t try to characterize her leave as anything other than “leave.” And yes, treat her normally, including pushing back if you need to (although at the same time, if you can cut her some extra slack there without it impacting your work, that would be a kind thing to do). Is it weird that I’ve never met my manager in person? I don’t have a “dotted line manager” anywhere, but I work with various teams in Europe and North America.

We’ve been asked not to reach out to her at all at this time.

Our team is respecting that, but understand that eventually she will transition back to her prior role, which means we’ll be interacting with her frequently.

I want to find the balance of integrating her after an absence without triggering negative emotions/responses for her.


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