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If I told you what went down that evening, you’d stop reading my column, refer me to anger management classes, and slander my name and point at me next time you saw me walking my cat in a stroller through English Village.

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I remember the day my physics teacher gave me an “F” on a midterm with this addendum, “If there was something worse than an F, rest assured I would have given it to you.” And I recall the time my boyfriend cheated on me with a curvaceous, buxom gal from Colorado. He did have a charming South African accent and referred to squirrels as “squibbles.” When you’re 17, an accent and adorable mispronunciations go a long way.

I’d love to spin a yarn and tell you what happened when I found out about this indiscretion, but I’d also like to assume a few people read this little column.

No matter which way you go, no matter which way you stay, you’re out of my mind, out of my mind.

This Canadian-born lesbian pop duo were pretty spot on.

I’d like to assume that most people who cheat don’t consider their partner, and how, with this act, it leaves someone to question their sanity, as well as everything they believe to be true about their spouse, and the viability of their relationship.

I’m certainly not a psychologist, so I’m in no place to dispense advice on divorce and fidelity.If you are living with the ghost of a relationship past, it’s time you called Bill Murray and Dan Ayktoyd for some paranormal extermination.Holding onto a past relationship is certain to sabotage your romantic future.However, I do wish people would exercise a certain level of consideration when making decisions that will have such an impact on their partner.I’m sure deep down my old Afrikaans–speaking flame regrets the anguish he put me through so many years ago.Your intent may not be to project those negative emotions onto your current relationship, but it is likely you will.

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  1. He has ingrained sexist (and racist) attitudes, but when Roger is alone with a woman, he makes her feel like she’s the only one worth his attention. One minute he’s spitting fire at a mistress who won’t do what he wants, and the next he’s falling all over himself calling her a goddess.

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