anna popplewell skandar keynes dating - Anxiety over online dating

Sexual turn-on isn’t the only feeling to be in touch with and enjoy though.

When we truly turn our attention toward the feelings inspired by others, there’s an inherent sense of awe present as well.

When our bodies begin to feel more turned on by our environment this often triggers anxiety (again, due to sexual shame) and we often compensate by thinking more.

While the first step to being sexy is to simply enjoy the amazing feelings inspired by the endless beauty around you, the second step is to share those appreciative feelings.

This can be scary, especially after a lifetime of cultural programming and past flirting experiences being loaded with the common pitfalls we discussed above.

and a million different things that are particular to every person.

The best flirts recognize that there is inherent beauty in every single human being.

“I didn’t feel comfortable flirting because my/their friends were there.” “I didn’t feel comfortable flirting because it was at work and I need to act professionally.” These statements, which I hear all the time, reveal a warped understanding of what flirting actually entails.

Due to the sexual shame we carry, sexual feelings are often muddled with what I’ll call confusing feelings.

Instead of our thoughts being self-conscious, thoughts stemming from expectation become a personal fantasy revolving around what you’re going to do with this person.

Your “flirting” isn’t representative of the feelings of the moment, but rather of your fantasy.

When we’re not repressing or muddling those feelings in the ways described above, these feelings are some of the most pleasureable feelings on the planet.


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