Dating in your late thirties

I put a classified ad in Private Eye, which read: ‘Fun, attractive female journalist, 38, seeks romantic, sporty, intelligent guy, 30s/40s for adventures and hopefully LTR/marriage/babies/the lot!

’Out of a surprisingly large number of replies, Simon’s stood out.

Whether it’s online dating that’s your bag or you’d prefer to meet someone more ‘naturally’ – you’ve got to be in it to win it. Focusing more on what someone might have, be and give you is like watching a Disney film and making that your life goal. And, perhaps most importantly, don’t forget why you’re dating.

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Why would they like someone who, if she can still have children, would need to have them straight away?

No, men will run a mile.’ She paused, then added: ‘Sorry, dear.’ I’ve never been someone who absolutely has to be in a relationship.

I turned up a few minutes late for one date to find that the guy had already ordered and eaten dinner without me, and I booked myself on a climbing holiday with 14 fit men, only to discover halfway up the highest mountain in North Africa that they were all married.

While I did meet some really nice men, it was certainly not at the tortuous round of singles events, at which there were always more women than men and everyone had a sad, resigned look in their eyes.

The solution is to meet them in their own natural habit: coffee shops and pubs, of course, but also sports clubs, evening classes, even the local supermarket. James Preece, who runs dating events, says that although it might be a struggle to find men — who are often happy just hanging out with their mates rather than trying to meet new people — women in their mid-30s shouldn’t give up hope.

Thankfully for women who are the far side of 30, James says it is ‘absolute rubbish’ that they have no chance of finding love.

Relax and enjoy it – because one day you will be in that LTR you’ve spent so long looking for and dream of the days you were once footloose and fancy free.

Because believe it, the grass isn’t *always* greener on the other side.

‘Expectations’ is a word I’ve used quite a lot in the past when talking about women in their thirties, who are dating, because they just seem to have so damn many of them.

From expectations to height and income, the older women get the higher they want them to be.

Rule #2 Don’t be a cliché – he doesn’t need to know your life plan on a first date.

963 Comments

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