There’s that constant feeling that you’re just one misplaced emoji away from being exiled to the Island of Unfuckable Boys, there to live out your life in monklike celibacy, forever mourning your stillborn love life.In reality, it’s not quite as complicated or difficult to attempt to approach women is automatically creepy.The social context of being at church, for example, demands radically different behavior than being at a nightclub.
But learning to navigate the subtleties of these rules is part of developing your social calibration. As I’m always saying, being good with women is a skill and some people are going to be more skilled than others.
And speaking of which: Whenever we talk about times when it’s appropriate to approach or hit on women, people will inevitably bring up someone they know – either personally or friend-of-a-friend – who broke “the rules” successfully. The fact that Michael Jordan can pull off an astounding dunk doesn’t mean that should give it a shot.
If you’re still struggling to get that first date, then you’re better choosing lower-risk, lower-investment approaches like meeting people through your social circle.
Just remember: being well-calibrated and socially successful doesn’t mean that you’re guaranteed success; everybody has off days and some people will just no matter what.
A 5th level paladin isn’t going to survive going through the Tomb of Horrors and somebody who doesn’t have much social experience is better off sticking to accepted social spaces to approach women.
This is one of the areas where Schoen seriously falls down.It’s going to be an inexact process at best; it’s not as though grinding in bars gives you 120 XP per hour that culminates with your hitting the cap as a level 80 Pick-Up Artist.As a general rule, the more successes you have – getting working phone numbers, first dates, second dates – the more risks you can reasonably take.Approaching people you don’t know and have no connection to means that you have to behave accordingly.Tracking them down on social media, randomly texting them (when they didn’t give you their number) or proclaiming your undying devotion for them when you don’t actually know each other are all examples of assuming excess levels of intimacy.While there are obviously no hard and fast classifications, this list should serve as a decent rule of thumb.