Thus, you’re judging him not merely for your feelings towards him, but rather his consistent efforts to call you and see you over the course of a month. How many of those same men prove to do it over and over and over again for 4-6 weeks? An easier way to look at this is that you have MUCH more information about a person after, say, 7-8 dates than you do after 2-3 dates.
If he’s still a good guy who calls consistently, sees you consistently, and seems to want to be monogamous, then you should feel secure in giving him a shot, as opposed to doing what most of us do: hopping into bed first, “committing”, and realizing that we’ve made a terrible choice due to chemistry.
I am scared of getting hurt and us not being on the same page.
But, I am equally scared of pushing for something that is happening naturally and perhaps making him feel pressured and stressed about something that is easy and great, naturally. If I talk with him, how do I bring up being exclusive so that he doesn’t feel pressured?
Our chemistry was immediate (physical, intellectual, and emotional) and things have been very easy so far. I am totally comfortable with the speed (how often we are communicating, seeing each other, and sharing information about ourselves).
But, we recently slept together (it felt right and was great).
It’s the kind of thing that will be defined naturally by him calling you every day, spending every weekend with you, introducing you to his friends and family, and so on.
In other words, you should both “know” what you are without a heavy discussion.
And, if I don’t talk with him immediately, when is the right time to talk about being exclusive (if he doesn’t bring it up)? I’m going to give you a cheat sheet to tell you the most effective way to get into a relationship with a new guy.
Before I do, I’d like to pre-empt all of the people who are inclined to tell me I’m wrong because they did it another way: yes, there are 100 ways to do things.
This is not to say that it’s “wrong” to commit to someone before 4 weeks; merely that you’ll have a better sense of who you’re committing if you vet him first, instead of giving him a free pass to boyfriend-hood because you like him and want to sleep with him.