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While his profile was relatively sparse, Nathan mentioned a few mutual interests.

I also liked that there were no bathroom selfies, pictures of his car or shots of him flexing at the gym. When I asked him what he was looking for, he said that he’d been single for a while and that he thought it was time for him to “get back out there.” He said that he was looking for someone who wants to enjoy life and “have fun.” Usually “have fun” actually means “keep it casual,” but Nathan added that he wasn’t interested in hook ups and wanted to build something with someone. Within a couple of days of connecting online, we decided to meet for a coffee, even though he was about to leave for a work trip.

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I’m always reading, and I love hiking, eating and travelling.” Sadie has been single for a few months, and describes her dating life as “somewhat active.” She says “I want to date someone I can have fun with, someone who is adventurous, caring and sweet. He followed me, and I received an email notification. We started communicating by making random comments, back and forth, and then moved on to messaging each other.

We discussed favourite authors and books, movies and TV, and work stresses and achievements.

As he talked about work and interests, my internal mental checklist was hard at work, ticking boxes. We crossed the street together and he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Soon afterward Nathan sent me a text, which led to some banter. My friends tell me to just forget him, but unfortunately, sometimes the ones you want don’t want you back the same way.

The next morning, I texted him and we sent flirty messages back and forth throughout the day. I know the dating bar is set really low when a man simply asking how my day was seems like a big thing.

Since Shawn and I lived about an hour apart, we rationalized that we should make the most of meeting in person, and spend the day together. I wore a cute new top, and Shawn was right on time. I found myself looking at his dishevelled hair — and his receding hairline, which I hadn’t noticed in his profile photo — and his outfit: a polo shirt tucked into jeans, and faux-snakeskin shoes. He was polite, easy to talk to, and kind, but there was no physical attraction on my end.

Leading up to the date, we continued to chat daily, just a few sentences at a time. We awkwardly hugged as we said our hellos and then he led me to his car, as our day-date checking out some wineries required driving. The look was “preppy-nerdy,” but trying too hard to be cool. He mentioned his excitement about finally being able to try the “new releases.” I didn’t know what he meant, and was too embarrassed to ask, but then realized he was talking about the wine.

We had a nice chat about things we like to do, holiday plans, the usual things. It was all a little bit faster than I was used to, but I had nothing to lose. When I asked why, he rhymed off a list of reasons: I’m tall, financially successful, confident, intelligent, independent.

Nathan was more handsome in person than in his photos. He steered me into the coffee shop and offered to get me something. He said most men don’t like a woman to be more successful than they are and want to be able to rescue someone.

“While I have lots of dating stories to tell friends over cocktails, I’ve also had my heart broken and have had some really bad experiences.

Ultimately, I’m looking for a relationship, but I’m not currently on any dating sites.” A while ago, I matched with a crazy tall and decent-looking divorced guy on a dating app.

The texting continued, infrequently but steadily, while Nathan was gone. Could it mean something changed for him and he was no longer interested?


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