You are no wiser, more mature or otherwise changed from who you were minutes beforehand; the only difference is that you now have a set of memories that you didn’t have before and the need to shower and change the sheets.Having had sex doesn’t validate you as a person, nor does it somehow confirm that you have worth or that you’ve been devalued by the experience.It won’t magically give you confidence that you didn’t have before, it won’t change how you think or make you empirically more or less attractive.
The fear of reaching is who is a virgin past a certain point – generally as soon as puberty hits, if we’re honest about it – is convinced that they’re on the cusp of reaching some nebulous “point of no return”.
That deadline – the idea we have to lose our virginity by X date or remain forever unfuckable – tends to vary; we tend to put undue importance on arbitrary dates because they carry totemic significance for us.
A flawed article in an issue of Newsweek sent women into paroxysms of fear of spinsterhood when it claimed that women who weren’t married by 40 would be married and had better odds of being killed by terrorists.
In Japan, there are references to a woman as a “Christmas cake” – it may look tasty, but nobody wants it after the 25th.
Some may become bitter and resentful, feeling as though they’re being cheated of something that they’re rightfully “owed”.
Others will have their pre-existing approach anxiety ramped up to near pathological levels, leaving them with anxiety attacks and a crippling shyness around people they’re attracted to.
There is no difference between a person who has had sex and someone who hasn’t.
Even a woman’s hymen is no demarcator of virginity; many will rupture their hymen long before they’ve had penetrative vaginal intercourse.
Because of all of the importance placed on the concept of virginity, people are convinced that having passed some arbitrary cut-off point that they have rendered themselves utterly unfuckable and have somehow missed on a critical aspect of growing up.